Jacob Kealoha-Lopez

My beautiful baby boy was born into heaven on December 29, 2014 when I was 10 weeks pregnant. Me and my husband never knew for sure that we were gonna have a boy but we both had a very strong feeling that we were, so we stuck with it.

The day of my miscarriage started off as a regular morning, I got up, brought my older son to school and met up with my grandma to have breakfast. We ate, talked story for a while then parted ways.

Before heading home my husband noticed blood on my shorts so I headed to the bathroom. As I sat on the toilet all I felt and heard was a big gush, looking down I was in shock. I had a feeling of what had just happened but I was in denial.

It wasn’t until the next day at the doctor’s office that my fears were confirmed. I had had a miscarriage, I was devastated. I was pregnant and then I wasn't.

I would never hold my baby, lay my eyes upon my baby, or do anything with my baby. In that moment my world had come to a dead stop and I had no clue what to do next. But with the help of my husband, my kids and my family I started taking steps forward. And today I still miss my baby, but I know that one day I will be able to see him in God’s eternal garden. I love you so much, Jacob.

—Felicia